2 stars - I read all three volumes but in retrospect could have better spent my time cleaning the bathroom or staring at the wall
What? You think I just read great literature? Hey! At least I didn't waste my money on these books as they were lent to me by my mother. So there.
Before I even begin, let me save you some time. If you are keen about a love story that involves a sadomasochistic relationship, then just rent Secretary staring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. It is a wonderful story of two people made for each other who fit together perfectly, just the way they are.
Still here? OK, here goes. I warn you that this review is fraught with spoilers. No worries, I have been assured via an in depth report on NPR that spoilers actually enhance reading pleasure. So it must be true, right?
- Psycho stalker obsessive emotionally dead extremely wealthy erotically sadistic boy meets virginal naive well educated girl.
- Psycho stalker dude does what he does best... stalks.
- Boy has sex with virgin girl.
- Girl is smitten.
- Boy reveals that the only sort of relationship he can have is master / slave and shows girl his play room.
- Girl agrees to a spanking. Admits it wasn't so bad.
- Boy impresses girl with his desire to beat her.
- Girl lets boy beat her because she loves him.
- Boy beats girl. It hurts. Girl runs away.
- Boy stalks girl. Boy is charming and boy and girl's families think he is wonderful.
- Boy interferes with every part of girl's life like the total possessive megalomaniac stalker that he is.
- Girl succumbs.
- Bad guy wants to kill boy and girl.
- Somebody gets kidnapped.
- Boy "tortures" girl by not letting her climax during sex.
- Bad guy gets disposed of.
- Boy reveals troubled past.
- Girl gets pregnant (idiot).
- Boy marries girl, becomes model father.
- Boy is cured of all the bad parts of his nature thanks to true love.
- Girl decides she likes being tied up, blindfolded, and lightly beaten.
- Everybody lives happily ever after.
That pretty much sums it up. Even though the first volume was, at times, titillating and fun to read, the ensuing sex scenes and dialog in volumes two and three are so repetitive, so agonizingly predictable that one can only imagine that the author and editor went mad with cutting and pasting.
Editor: "Shall we insert another sex scene here?"
Author: "Oh do, let's. We haven't used the one from page 52 in a while."
Well, that's good news for the reader as many pages can be skipped and reading volumes two and three really only involves touching down for a few key paragraphs here and there.
I can't even give this one a good rating for a romance novel (and believe me, at the end of the day, this is no more, no less than formulaic romance writing). In the few romance novels I have read which I enjoyed, the main characters didn't have to change their fundamental nature to be together and each grew as an individual from being with the other. Those alarm bells that went off in Anna's head when she first met Christian were spot on. "Run away!"
On a more serious note, my next door neighbor is wondering whether he should let his 20 year old daughter read the book. First of all, you don't "let" your 20 year old read anything. She can read whatever she wants.
But I do worry about the moral of this story which appears to be "stick by your man no matter how f*&k'd up he is because true love will turn him around." Sadly, that is the prescription for far too many relationships that start out lovely and turn into abusive situations.
Now then, if anybody has a female black lab who is interested in exploring new territory, I happen to have a male lab who is willing.
|Fifty Shades of Black|